9 Ruthless Laws of Life That Only People Over 30 Come to Understand
Schools teach kids the multiplication tables, the laws of physics, and a bunch of other useful things. However, adults never talk about things that are important for everyday life. That’s why we get disappointed after growing old, because reality is far from the pages of textbooks, goodness doesn’t always win over evil, the world is ruled by the rich, and loyalty in a family is a rare thing.
Bright Side collected some harsh truths that many of us came to realize after having made a bunch of mistakes.
1. As a rule, wealth and power are inherited.
Every year, the Forbes journal makes a list of the wealthiest and most powerful people from all over the world. As a rule, half of the billionaires from this list inherited their fortune from their parents or successfully got married. Another 20% of super-rich people come from wealthy and noble families.
For example, the founder of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, started his business with $300,000 that he borrowed from his stepfather. Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, comes from a wealthy family of bankers and politicians.
The idea that everyone can become successful is just a beautiful dream. However, we have gotten more opportunities to become rich with the development of the internet, thanks to various start-ups. Anyway, the kids of wealthy parents are able to do this easier and faster.
2. Men and women understand friendship differently.
According to research, a man perceives a female friend as a potential lover. Therefore, he takes all his acts of friendship, like the hammering a shelf or helping to fix a car, as an investment in a future intimate relationship that could happen one day.
A woman perceives this male friend as a helper and gets more material benefits from the friendship. She doesn’t consider this man to be a romantic partner. That’s how “the effect of the friend zone” appears, when a man hopes for the development of a relationship, while a woman sees him as just a friend.
3. It’s better to be a pessimist than an optimist.
In the 1950s, scientists from the United States came up with something called positive psychology. According to its principles, you need to perceive everything around through the prism of a good mood, meet difficulties with a smile, and not whine. However, modern psychologists believe that this approach won’t bring any good.
The visualization of success and optimism reduces the likelihood of a successful outcome. When a person has already imagined that everything is going to be fine, they can give in, in real life, and start to simply wait for a happy ending.
At the same time, people with a pragmatic and even slightly depressive view of the world, have reached more success: pessimists and whiners foresee possible events and make a detailed plan in case of a failure.
4. Young parents feel miserable more often than child-free couples.
After having their first kid, young parents feel unhappy and miserable 2 times more often than people who don’t have kids. If the pregnancy was not planned, the psychological state of the partners becomes even worse.
However, as surprising as it might sound, the odds of divorce, decrease. In other words, after having kids, you will not suffer alone, but together with your partner. Despite all these difficulties, most parents consider having kids the greatest happiness in life.
5. You have to be selfish in your relationship from time to time.
Partners have to compromise and emotionally invest in relationships constantly. However, sometimes each partner needs to only think about themselves, otherwise, their self-esteem might plummet.
Psychologists don’t recommend living according to your partner’s interests and say you should get together with your friends, spend time alone, and take care of your body. Generally speaking, you shouldn’t only cherish and focus on your partner, but you should do the same for yourself as well. Don’t spend time trying to earn the approval and good attitude of your partner, and you will be able to maintain your self-esteem and strong nerves.
6. Almost no one feels empathy for victims of violence and for women who were beaten by their husbands.
There is a term called “victim blaming” in psychology, where a victim is made to feel guilty for the situation they got themselves into. It’s a trap of our mind that we constantly get caught in.
The human brain craves patterns and believes that evil should be punished, while good always triumphs. That’s why we keep looking for logical explanations for the bad things that happened to the victim, like wearing a skirt that is too short, walking along a street that was too dark, or being rude to the offender. The truth is that these reasons don’t exist, but our brain doesn’t care. That’s why people don’t feel empathy for victims.
7. Going vegan, using electric cars, and plastic processing are not likely to save the planet.
Since the invention of plastic, people have produced 8 billion tons of products from this harmful material, and only 1/10th of them have been recycled. The recycled plastic also won’t help much because clothes, dishes, and shoes made from recycled PET still don’t decompose and continue to poison the Earth.
Going vegan was supposed to help reduce carbon dioxide emissions. However, eventually, it all came down to the fact that a lot of water is spent on watering plants, the fields are covered with chemicals, and forests are cut down for farmland.
Electric cars don’t harm the atmosphere, but they are dangerous in other ways — the production of lithium batteries is not environmentally friendly. In addition, if a Tesla catches fire, for example, extinguishing it requires several dozen tons of water and various reagents.
Most eco-initiatives are profitable for someone — mostly to the people who sell the eco-goods.
8. We spend 8 hours for work per day in vain.
It seems to some people that there is a direct correlation between the number of hours spent at work and their salary. However, this is not true. The only thing you can get due to overworking is a professional burnout and a breakdown.
Scientists have counted that out of 8 hours of a standard working day, we are only productive for 3-4 hours. The rest of the time is wasted for ineffective things like checking email, eating, and talking to colleagues. All because the human brain has limits of concentration: scientists say that we can stay focused no more than 2.5 hours a day.
9. Men cheat more often than women, but only at a certain age.
It is believed that men cheat on their soulmates more often and that faithfulness is a rare quality among them. This is true, but only partially. Before 30, women cheat just as much as men do — they even lie to their partners more often.
However, men go off the deep end with age and start to cheat 20% more often. The highest rate of adultery is among those who we would hardly take into consideration — in 20% of families where the spouses are over 60, cheating happens the most often.
Do you think these truths are real? Or do you have your own explanations of the ruthless lessons adult life teaches us?
Illustrated by Alena Tsarkova for BrightSide.me