12 Relationship Troubles That Exist Today
Finding someone special wasn’t ever an easy thing. But it’s even more stressful for today’s lovers who, besides the good old problems, face a bunch of new frustrating relationship challenges. Living in the age of the internet and social media is not as cool as we’re used to thinking it is: where dating, a range of choices, and too much of self-reflection makes things way more complicated.
Bright Side rounded up 12 issues that basically all couples struggle with today.
1. Spending too much time together
Just spending time together is not the same thing as putting someone in the center of your universe and forgetting about your own needs. But constant messaging and fear of being alone make it easy to create excess strain on the relationship.
Usually it’s time to give each other more space when we get irritated with our partner for no reason and start to feel bored.
2. Texting misunderstandings
Some things never change: we get the most important information through non-verbal communication — tone and body language. But, thanks to smartphones, people spend huge amounts of time trying to interpret each other’s intentions by a single emoji or a one-word answer.
When there is a need to talk about heavy issues, texting only leaves us lost in translation — things of this nature need to be discussed by phone or face-to-face.
3. Anxiety about missing ’the right’ partner
Dating platforms make it hard not to think about the hundreds of potential relationships that may be waiting for you out there. This creates doubt about a current (or even good enough) partner and makes us ask ourselves if we’ve made the right choice and wouldn’t it be better to continue seeking “the one.” Psychologists suggest redirecting that energy: try being the kind of partner that you’d like to have.
4. Fear of making decisions
There is always the temptation to get away from a heavy conversation. Instead of making the choice and taking responsibility we usually have an opportunity to simply stop responding.
But, as a result, lovers today find themselves helpless in the face of serious problems. Even when making a decision is crucial for the relationship.
5. Meddling relatives
Troubles with decision making skills make people want to seek advice from their relatives too often, so they easily become a big part of a couples’ life and gain too much authority in the relationship.
It’s important to remember that parents and friends won’t ever know our partners better than ourselves. So, putting down the phone and making our own mistakes is the best decision.
6. Going too public on social media
Social media users tend to exaggerate their posts and try to present their relationships in the best light possible. But this still affects us — we get unrealistic expectations for our own lives and go on to upload photos of the most important moments for hundreds of people to see, which kills the intimacy.
When feeling envious about other people’s lives, it’s better to remember that every relationship is unique in its own way. And we never know what is hiding behind the scenes of other love stories.
7. The habit of being manipulative
Many of us are too afraid of being hurt in relationships. So instead of expressing our real emotions, we basically think about how to create a text response that won’t show our cards and won’t let our partner know how much we do actually worry and care about them.
But this, in the end, leaves our loved ones turned off and makes things more complicated. Maybe being clearer about our real intentions would be a better choice.
8. Lack of courage to embrace conflict
Huge amount of information are circulating through messages, but the most important things usually remain unsaid — especially those that may lead to confrontations. People are more likely to distance themselves from their partners instead of starting a risky conversation, even if it means the end of the relationship.
9. Jealousy caused by social media
Dozens of apps offer simple ways to cheat and a ‘like’ supplied by our crush to a photo of someone unknown may deeply upset us. This all cultivates jealousy in a relationship and a fear of being betrayed.
But unless we are almost sure that our partner is cheating, a good solution would be to stop reading too much into their online actions.
10. Talking about exes
No one wants to constantly hear about a partner’s exes, but still they take up too much space in our lives: it can be hard to not come across a former lover’s profile accidentally and to not recall our previous relationship. So couples may find themselves constantly discussing their ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends and, as it sometimes turns out, not being over them.
11. Distorted picture of love
Social media is to blame for our exaggerated views of love and distorted images of ourselves: there is always pressure to keep up with picture perfect photos that pop up on our feed. People go on to think that starting any relationship is worth it only in cases that are nothing less than perfect.
12. Constant pursuit of excitement
Movies and pop culture have taught us that love is about a never-ending excitement and a feeling of constant euphoria. Although, that’s more common for the beginning of the relationship and, with time, it’s okay for things to get more calm. Despite that, modern couples tend to lose their patience and faith in a relationship as soon as the excitement slows down.
What are the most complicated relationship issues you have ever faced? Have many of your friends struggled with the same problems? Please tell us what you think in the comments.
Illustrated by Ekaterina Gapanovich for BrightSide.me